Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to whoever reads this :)





update: so it's 6:34 p.m and I'm currently laying in bed listening to STARS (great band btw). This morning I headed over to Molly's place to drop off her present and a pecan pie for her family. It was good to see that familiar smile again. I kind of lost faith in Christmas over the years. The same things happen and there's not really much difference. My family doesn't really do anything. I didn't have any presents to open but had many to give and I'm pretty content with that. Now that I think of it, I didn't even get a thank you from my parents when I gave them their presents. whatever... Anyways, I really wish I had a big family to celebrate it with. It makes me jealous to see other families have their whole house have that Christmas vibe. I guess I'll just have to wait until I have a family of my own to experience that. I really tried to make today a happy day for me but I have way too much alone time to think about things. Times will get better I can only wish. Hope you guys are having a good one. :) till tomorrow

a year from now

This year has been really hard for me. In April I basically lost my first true best friend. No, he didn't die or anything. He just dropped off the face of the planet on me I suppose. But Molly helped me get over it and made me forget about the whole situation. When this year started, it was the beginning of what I would call 'preparation' for Molly leaving to college. It was something that I had to come to grasp with and I slowly but surely accepted it. When it came down to the dreaded day, it was harder than ever to let go. Little did I know that was the last time I would experience being 'together' with her. She honestly made me lose faith in life. I thought the whole world was in front of me and life was going MY WAY for once. Promises don't mean much to me anymore until I see the outcome. So I've lost 2 best friends in one year. It wasn't what I expected but life isn't what its cracked up to be and you gotta roll with the punches. I've never had a crew or certain people that have been there 'from the start'. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I had a family to rely on. I guess its true when people say nothing good lasts forever. Either that or its just not my time yet. Whatever 'god' or whomever has planned for me, I really hope its worth the time,effort, and pain. I hope 09 has more great things in store for me cause I could sure use some good times and good people. :)

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”
- Douglas Adams

long week, bleh!

its saturday night/sunday morning and im glad the new week is about to start. i cant wait till school starts so more new things will come my way. but at the same time i dont want it to start because molly will be gone... : / im trying not to think about it so much but its starting to settle in i guess. i finally realize that life is starting to hit me. im in college and in love with a girl who will be 293482034 miles away. well not exactly that far away, but pretty far for me. i have complete faith in our relationship will last. but when i actually say those words, for some reason i feel childish... thinking everything will work out for the better when were not even apart yet. so world, do you think im foolish for thinking this? who am i kidding... no one is reading this. ha! but it doesnt matter what others think. i love this girl to death and thats all i need to stand by. well... thats it for now. more ranting later. :)

have a good one